Time Travel, part 4: I Was Just Noticing Your Harpoon Collection Episode 1140: You’re a Miranda It’s Thanksgiving 1970, so we take the day off to write an unbelievably thorough analysis of Night of Dark Shadows, with assistance from the cast of commenters, the shooting script, Famous Monsters of Filmland, H.P. Seeing how these actors managed to keep their cool and recover from forgotten lines, mangled cues, and noisy crew members makes me think they deserve way more respect than most film actors today. We offer a critical analysis of the structured binary opposition between the signifiers “Quentin Collins” and “Grant Douglas”. Jeb Hawkes, the dark angel of Altamont, says: Please allow me to introduce myself. Barnabas and Carolyn are exiled from Collinsport for a week, to promote a movie they don’t like. You think that this is something that was written and filmed by grown-ups, and then broadcast on ABC television at four o’clock in the afternoon. They’re wrapping up the 1840 storyline, so they begin the now-traditional massacre of all secondary characters, starting with the one person who we thought was definitely safe. Episode 1202: The Leftovers We see the very last lawyer to appear on the show who doesn’t end up possessed by a witch. Dr. Lang continues his reign of terror, taking a super creepy interest in Vicki. Angelique tells Julia to follow Barnabas, and Barnabas tells Julia to follow Angelique, and we all go round in circles. Another day, another funeral, plus a vampire suicide pact. Episode 227: Sick Day Episode 757: Drunk HIstory Episode 841: Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There It’s day 3 of our special week watching the Canadian supernatural soap Strange Paradise, where we get a little old-time religion mixed with old-time soap tropes. Everyone worries about the moon, the playroom and the astrologist. It’s not a good plan, naturally, but it’s nice to see him having fun. Out on the wiley, windy moors, Daphne makes a discovery. Special guest star Joe Lidster writes today’s post, and tells the truth about truth-hugs, smirking, and what happens when all the adults go out for the evening. I can’t be consumed by Quentin’s passion for Daphne and her ghost, as I assume I should be. Angelique is back from the dead, mostly, and she needs a new source of energy. A new kid blows into town, calls himself Alexander. And she doesn’t even work her way up to it — today, she starts at eleven, and builds from there. Episode 513: Thirty Two Short Films About Episode 513 It’s the second time around the track for this unfaithful adaptation of The Turn of the Screw, and it looks like we’ll be racing in circles for a while. We take another side trip into 1968 pop culture, with a one-hit wonder wearing a flaming hat. Dr. Woodard has opened up another box. Astrology is for chumps; the only way to truly understand yourself and your destiny is to watch the episodes of Dark Shadows that aired on your birthday. After two weeks, the global Leviathan conspiracy is falling to pieces, so they turn to the only person who can help them: a thirteen-year-old shoplifter. Episode 1171: He Schemes, He Scores Two fun things I thought of while Sheltering in Place and watching Dark Shadows. Barnabas and Quentin argue, as Jonathan and David make their long-playing dreams come true. Julia is in love with Barnabas, but Barnabas wastes his time standing in the moonlight with somebody else. Episode 269: Loving the Monster    We’ve got five female characters to mess with Barnabas, throwing him off balance in unpredictable ways. Episode 951: Into Darkness Episode 1052: Ouroboros Episode 1059: World Beyond the Doors Even that doesn’t make sense. Episode 390/391: The Princess Julia turns traitor as we explore the most important question of the 1995 storyline: Is Gerard hot? Episode 952: Something Evil People Are Afraid Of Episode 268: Suicide Is Painful Barnabas and Magda go werewolf hunting. We try to come to grips with the ungrippable Hallie Stokes. For two centuries, the unresting spirit of Jeremiah Collins has been haunting the great estate, and it’s not working out. Episode 434: Down Our Throats   Hinton that demonstrates what happens when people encounter Dark Shadows unexpectedly. We are invited to feel something about Roxanne, a simple-minded Jungle Girl who only knows one- and two-syllable words. Somebody’s going around perforating cows, and Jason’s going to get to the bottom of it. And then, just when we least expected it, the tragic story of the Worst Actor Who Ever Appeared on Dark Shadows, and his character’s life after death. Now the guy has two bosses that he can’t stand. Episode 768: Number One with a Bullet Episode 429: Destruction, Everywhere As the youngest of four children, the only time I had control of the TV was 1) when nobody else was home; 2) if nobody else wanted to watch whatever the limited choices were. Then, collections 5-7 on Hulu in 2016. Episode 385: The End of History The Doctor regenerates, and we break new ground in the field of recaps. A good-looking Deputy meets a seductive lady vampire, as Dark Shadows figures out what it’s for. Strange Paradise, Episode 1: Dry Ice Burns It’s a weird show, is what I’m saying. Minerva Trask shows up at Collinwood, with a new shipment of backstory for Rachel. Episode 687: You Remind Me of a Man Episode 1156: The Framing Episode 869: Schrodinger’s Vampire Safe! Carolyn tries to forget about all the terrible things that have happened, to no avail. It’s the last day for writer Malcolm Marmorstein, and he’s cooked up something special for us. Episode 980: Next Stop Keystone City Sarah visits Maggie, and demands her doll back. Episode 943: From Within David and Amy spend the entire day locked in a room, which means they’re still letting Ron Sproat write episodes. Episode 1028: Can’t Stop the Trouble Angelique introduces the next thrilling storyline: a Dream Curse! Episode 703: The Problem of Beth Episode 739: Another Weird Afternoon Episode 851: Everybody Hates Quentin Barnabas Collins finally appears on prime time, although it’s not really the Barnabas from Dark Shadows as much as the Barnabas from Barnabas Collins In a Funny Vein. David and Amy try to trick the grown-ups into thinking that their actually haunted house is actually haunted. — but Professor Stokes has a disturbing newsflash from the refrigerator door. Savvy? Episode 752: The One Where Evan Ruins the Carpet Laura was sacrificed on a burning pyre by the fire priests of Alexandria, and now she’s standing in the drawing room. The roots of the conflict are traced back to the fall … It’s Adam’s last stand, and he goes out the way that we always knew he would, in a hail of bullets, shouting and sedatives. Quentin and Gerard row up the Amazon to find a West African voodoo doll by way of Haiti, Louisiana, medieval Britain and the State of New Jersey. Episode 686: The Case of the Lifted Ledger Episode 508: Dream Beater I’m away this week, so to tide you over, I’m presenting some odd little things that I can’t fit into a regular post. Barnabas thinks that everything will be fine, now that Sarah’s come back. Very witty. It’s Dirk vs Barnabas in an all-out battle for the title of coolest vampire on the show. The Leviathan storyline reaches a conclusion with a dream, a threat and a big, wet thud. Episode 1168: How I Long to Be Wrong Episode 1174/1175: Merrie Gentlemen Episode 716: The Generation Gap Carolyn is assaulted by Adam, and she turns to Professor Stokes to figure out what to do about it. Episode 905: Waiting for Quentin An introduction to a new supporting character, Barnabas the butler. Episode 302: The Serpent Episode 577: Artificial Intelligence Episode 876: The Curse of the Caffeinated It’s another Christmas pre-emption special, in which the 1991 revival disappears, once again, up Ben Cross’ nose. Quentin can’t figure out why he’s feeling the way that he’s feeling. Episode 1093: The Shrinking Shares Mikael Svanberg (born 13 November 1972), better known as Lord Ahriman, is a Swedish musician and composer best known as the primary guitarist, songwriter and sole founding member of black metal band Dark Funeral. Episode 844: Those Meddling Adults Episode 433: Law of the Jungle Episode 1092: The Tenterhooks Jamison is possessed, Charity is annoying Quentin, and Reverend Trask is haunted by a thunderstorm that isn’t there. Episode 316: The Big Bad Another doomed investigator takes full responsibility. Episode 574: Trade Secrets The wolf man stalks his girlfriend through the woods until she reaches the tomb of her mostly-dead mother, and then all Hell breaks loose. Episode 1200: The Woman in What? Episode 585: The War on Halloween The story’s stuck in neutral for a day, so Natalie busts out the tarot cards as a plot accelerator. Episode 1037: The Things That Have Been Happening Episode 685: A Fish Called Ezra Meanwhile, in the other spooky old mansion of the American imagination, 999 restless spirits open their creaky doors and invite us in. And just when all hope is lost: Julia Hoffman, expressing the sentiment “you have made the wrong parallel-dimension life choices” through the medium of a fire iron to the back of the head. Episode 291: The Alchemist Or looks like it was “painted out.” 3. Episode 801/802: You’re a Crook, Captain Hook He will learn otherwise. Episode 287: Notes on Camp    Dark Shadows Comic Strip, part 7: Swipe Left The sinister witch switches with her twin sister. Episode 346: The Shipping News Episode 747: Die Laughing Poor little rich boy Quentin Collins has spent the last week telling everybody that he’s going to murder Jenny. Meanwhile, Barnabas plans to go to the future to learn what he needs to prevent in the past, in order to save the present. Episode 902: Bringing Up Baby Episode 925: The Wolf of Wall Street Everyone is worried about David. Someone should probably check the conservatory for loose candlesticks and lead pipes. The reign of Count Petofi ends in fire and vengeance and pain, right on schedule. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. David Henesy was a dang good actor, the best of them all. Julia talks her way into a lifetime invitation to Collinwood. Episode 1069: Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me Episode 819: War and Peace It turns out she’s in the last place he saw her anyway. A new soap opera appears on ABC’s daytime schedule, and heads are gonna roll. Carolyn’s new husband is afraid of his own shadow. I briefly owned the complete DVD set, but decided eating was more important than keeping it so I sold it for a fraction of what I paid for it. Episode 283: Role Playing Episode 320: This Means Your Life The wedding guests clear the room for a flashback to 1949, where Elizabeth picks up a poker and just does what comes naturally. Ned Stuart is going to help his sister Sabrina recover from a werewolf attack, even if he has to rub his face all over her to do it. Elizabeth is cursed and Julia is vampire-bitten, so they organize an intramural spookiness competition. Freshman vampire Dirk tears through the supporting cast like a buzzsaw; he must be the hungriest vampire in history. Episode 482: Witches Be Crazy Here’s an episode guide for all of the Dark Shadows Every Day posts. Episode 812: While You Were Out Tim watches calmly, with an amused smile on his face, as the woman he’s murdered struggles for a last painful breath. Episode 967: Vicki Ruins Everything, part 3: The Way It Happened Episode 489: Bein’ Green Episode 246: Family Planning Zombie Quentin picks up the governess and carries her away, which it turns out is not actually a thing that zombies do. Engaged in a high-stakes deep cover operation in the 1890s, Barnabas antagonizes Edward, Magda, Jamison, Quentin and anybody else who happens by. Episode 899: The Fam Dram Burke and the Sheriff go downstairs to dig up some trouble. Episode 1172: The Deck Chairs Maggie meets a tall, dark stranger, and Barnabas gets cane-blocked. Episode 847: … And Carry On Episode 1068: Just a Girl Episode 293: Untouched The wife and I have been making one more attempt at watching all episodes and recently discovered your blog. Episode 672: Werewolf By Night The show goes from the ridiculous to the sublime — or, in this case, from the ridiculous to the even more ridiculous. The monster craze comes to an end, with an uncomfortable bump. Barnabas leads them through the mysteries that will make them respond. Angelique stops the execution by running in with a stolen head, and confessing to everything she can think of. Big Picture - combines several of the largest BG2 mods into one. © Danny Horn and Dark Shadows Every Day, 2013-2021. Vicki brings Barnabas to the one place where nobody will ever find them — the west wing of Collinwood. Episode 773: The Persecution and Assassination of Minerva Trask as Performed by Tim Shaw Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade The post that answers the crucial question: Is Dark Shadows more like The Munsters, or The Addams Family? Episode 619: The Gunslinger Dark/heavy music label, over 30 years of contaminating the masses! The Secrets Of The Black Arts (1996) Vobiscum Satanas (1998) Diabolis Interium (2001) Attera Totus Sanctus (2005) Angelus Exuro pro Eternus (2009) Where Shadows Forever Reign (2016) Live and compilation releases. Something terrible has happened to Carolyn. Barnabas, Quentin, Carolyn and Jeb stand around in the drawing room, shouting secret plans and drinking passive-aggressive cocktails. Episode 856: The Switcheroo Episode 308: In Circles There’s only one thing to do: unwrite the comic strip, and make sure that it never exists. As Dark Shadows approaches its final Christmas, we take a look at who’s on the naughty list. Angelique is probably not the best person to share them with. Then it’s unwrapped again. Episode 1096: Rose Cottage Was the Sled The most important event in Dark Shadows since Barnabas climbed out of the mystery box: Julia gets a haircut. It’s Halloween 1968, and the young children of America are watching a half-naked Joe throttle Barnabas with a rope. As Cyrus Longworth’s experiment comes to a swift and violent conclusion, we ask: What, if anything, have we learned? Episode 458: Don’t Love Me I finally get around to writing about the Civil Rights Movement, and its connection to The Bride of Frankenstein. Barnabas is dead (not really), and Nicholas comforts Vicki (not really). There’s box Barnabas and bed Barnabas, a quantum superposition that refuses to resolve. Some bloopers I have noticed. Episode 249: That Room with Those Things Ben walks into the Old House, and finds both of his employers bleeding out on the carpet. The season numbers are an arbitrary grouping added decades after the fact. Roger smashes Elizabeth’s toy mausoleum. Episode 244: Indecent Proposal An inspector calls, but everyone’s too busy incriminating themselves to call back. Obviously, Quentin isn’t going to die under that swinging pendulum, so we’re free to look at something important, like Barnabas and Angelique talking about their feelings. He has no history of violence, he’s unarmed, his back is turned, and you’re guests at his wedding. Megan Todd sits alone in the antique shop for five minutes, jumping at noises and ruining the show. More fashion, more shouting, more acting, more rummaging, more dreaming, more doors and more neckties. Sylvanas joined the rangers and eventually became their leader, rising to … Episode 816: Midsummer Episode 928: Another Day in the Uncanny Valley Barnabas has to choose between Julia and Hoffman, and picks the wrong side. Episode 838: Just Shoot Me Barnacle Crawlins tries to keep the show on the air, with the help of his werewolf cousin, Quinine. This is the episode where Barnabas literally transitions from a psychopathic killer to a romantic love-triangle rival in the middle of a scene. I did read where you said that Dark Shadows was cancelled in your area before it’s run ended but I couldn’t find anymore information after that. Have you ever seen a house that’s on fire? Barnabas and Liz stand on a cliff and talk about life and death, and then Vicki and Burke dance. Episode 1066: This Is How We Do It Episode 1121: Quentuplets Episode 466: Welcome to the Hellmouth Put-upon Angelique struggles with those stubborn post-murder-attempt bloodstains, and then who should come along but her mother-in-law! Episode 1129: Windmills, and How to Tilt at Them Julia has an entire mansion full of hiding places, but she decides to hide her notebook in the middle of Collinwood’s busiest transportation hub. Episode 924: Pretty Woman Professor Stokes exposes the Dream Curse story as the extended knock-knock joke that it really is. Carolyn Stoddard meets her father for the first time, and it turns out Dark Shadows is a soap opera after all. Episode 674: Donna of the Dead Dr. Woodard is the undisputed front-runner for America’s Next Vampire Victim. Soooo disappointing that these episodes beyond 492 isn’t streaming SOMEWHERE FREE or at least on Hulu for the price of a subscription. Episode 729: Good Night We mourn the passing of Sandor Rakosi in the only appropriate way for a soap audience, namely: enjoying the funeral. Episode 1150: The Strange Goings-On The real main character of Dark Shadows finally shows up: our hero, Claude North. Judith is haunted by the first Mrs. Trask, who doesn’t let being dead get in the way of her crackpot revenge schemes. Episode 1034: Mistakes in Justice Episode 395: Cleaning House Episode 534: The Scene of the Crime The best thing about 1795 is that there’s no shortage of yelling. Episode 592: And the Walls Fell Down Sometimes there’s just no logical reason why this set of people would even be talking to each other. Who’s up for a good old-fashioned teens on the run story? What are people doing in Collinsport that they’re too busy to notice that? Episode 524: Dead Man Walking She also travels back in time and meets some new cast members. Episode 820: The Hand Shakedown He also writes a letter, and hides it in a desk for seventy years. Barnabas, Julia and Willie have a family outing at the cemetery. Then there’s kissing and running and a dream sequence, and we open another mystery box. The Angelique/Quentin story gets itself into an unruly tangle that can only be resolved by Hoffman, the blood specialist housekeeper family historian. An episode focused on Mrs. Johnson’s son Harry, who’s played by the least likeable actor in Dark Shadows history. Seriously, that’s we’re doing today. Who was the old lady in Providence? Episode 439: Something About That Hate A Ring! A man is dead, and this time, we’re actually allowed to have some feelings about it. A meditation on Catherine’s consent, and the emotions of women in Parallel 1841. Hulu has stated that they will then show “The Beginning” episodes, and I’ll be able to say that I’ve seen the entire series. Today’s episode aired on the day that I was born, and the end of Dark Shadows is entwined with my beginning. Josette takes a flying leap. Jeb destroys the Leviathan box, the Leviathan altar and the whole goddamn Leviathan storyline. Hooked…. Episode 714: Inherit the Win Episode 1107: You Must Stop What Is Happening She is associated with the larger of the planet's two moons, the White Lady, and is considered to be the mother of Cenarius, the forest lord and patron god … Barnabas tries to figure out if Julia has actually written a letter, or if she’s just lying again. I loved it the first time around and your blog has rekindled that excitement. Nicholas and Cassandra have a strategy session, which turns into a film noir sequence straight out of The Maltese Falcon. Episode 284: Doctor Who About Bramwell and Cathryn and the sister who died? Episode 675: The Unscooby Gang Wish the whole series was on about 10 dvd’s. It’s raining, so Vicki and Carolyn sit around in the drawing room and talk about how scared they are. Maggie escapes from the mausoleum, and the show makes a mad dash for the reset button. Episode 1087: Stranger Things Episode 932: The Gates of Heck The main character of an increasingly popular daytime television show decides to murder a ten-year-old child. Episode 673: The Shambles Episode 646: The Turning Vicki tries to figure out how time travel works. Barnabas decides that he has to kill Julia… eventually. This time, Vicki’s been thrust back in time to the 18th century, to take another shot at rebooting the reboot. Episode 677: Lycanthropology Episode 618: Stop Trying Episode 303: The Back of My Mind The chilling story of what happens when the living dead comes to your house to lend you a book. Episode 1190: The Years of Time The doctor and her companion trespass in someone else’s adventure, as we ask once again: Who is They? Episode 889: It’s From the Past Barnabas feels a sudden and inexplicable desire for blood, which can only be sated by turning the show into a comic book and never letting it turn back. In which David Selby is discovered by 16 Magazine, and is haunted forevermore. A boy follows Carrie home from a funeral, which on Dark Shadows counts as a meet-cute. Of course I’ve heard of cows. It’s that simple! “Kill Doubloon!”. And then suddenly we’re in Gerard’s bedroom, which works for me. Episode 936: The Dynamics Episode 878: Flight of the Conquered Episode 595: Electric Ladyland It’s Dark Shadows, they never have a plan. Seriously, that actually happens. Episode 813: Happy Haunts Episode 1138: The Trouble with Tulips Lovecraft story of unseen cosmic horrors for a daily television soap opera. For behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all my people.”. The spell wears off and everything goes back to normal, which is great for everybody except the 17th century florists. For the final pre-emption day, we look at Sam Hall’s “Here’s What Really Happened to Barnabas & Co”, to learn about the long-range plans that they didn’t have for the characters. Episode 865: Things People Say While They’re Waiting for Barnabas to Come Back from Vacation As an Aquarian Exposition of Peace and Music breaks out on a dairy farm somewhere, Count Petofi waves his legendary hand and shows people visions of their own death. It’s New Year’s 1970, and we ring in the new decade with another installment of the 1991 revival show. Chris transforms into a savage beast, saving the audience from being buried alive under Elizabeth’s depression. A publishing tycoon with a grotesque and horrifying secret marries his dream girl, who has several. Episode 345: Rest in Pieces Nicholas Blair has a new project to work on, while Angelique gropes for something substantial to do. Angelique’s planning to turn Barnabas into a vampire, like she ever does anything else. Dark Shadows Comic Strip, part 2: A Forever Death Just when you thought that you’d seen the limit of Dark Shadows’ decline, along comes Joanna Mills, a resurrected boat-anchor that Quentin thought he’d shaken off months ago. Episode 811: Deadbeat Dad Everything goes entirely back to normal. Episode 265: Doctor Strange A brief recapitulation of the story in Noli Me Tangere (The Social Cancer) is essential to an understanding of such plot as there is in the present work, which the author called a “continuation” of the first story.. Juan Crisostomo Ibarra is a young Filipino, who, after studying for seven years in Europe, returns to his native land to find that his father, a wealthy landowner, … Episode 809: Twice Burned X2: Why Did Barnabas Become a Vampire? People keep walking up to Elizabeth and telling her what time it is. Quentin needs to figure out whether Alexis is the good twin or the evil twin, except there isn’t such a thing as good and evil, and he doesn’t really care anyway. Dark Shadows is saved from the scaffold, thanks to hard-working fans, a bunch of audiotapes and the amazing power of Star Trek slash fiction. But, hey — who isn’t? We’ve spent three months investigating Barnabas’ past. Doesn’t anybody show up for work anymore? Elizabeth dies temporarily, and everybody gets all uptight about it. Angelique uses a voodoo doll to give Quentin a heart attack, and then she’s shocked when he has a heart attack. DARK FUNERAL - Unchain My Soul (OFFICIAL VIDEO). The ghost of Daphne Harridge scatters journals and toy boats and hypnoclothes around the house, enchanting everyone but me. Episode 384: Life After Love Carl interrupts the vampire hunt to introduce Pansy Faye, his unsuitable Cockney chorus girl fiancee, direct from Blandings Castle. Blake resigns from the police force, and explains to Gordon that Gotham will never really know who saved it. Barnabas and Julia fire up the apparatus for another round of mad science. Episode 1062: Don’t Take It Personal (Just One of Dem Days) It’s another day in this haunted town, where ghosts set fires and mad scientists drink their fiendish concoctions. Episode 989: Scientific Progress Goes Boink Episode 1199: The Wuthering Professor Stokes leads an exorcism of Collinwood, to cast out the spirit of Quentin Collins and save a young boy’s life. Once again, Dr. Julia Hoffman examines an ailing storyline, and says, yeah, I could do something with this. Episode 775: The Winner The Dark Shadows comic strip tells the classic boy-meets-ancient-Egyptian-goddess story, and Barnabas Collins takes a tour of Frids Through the Ages. 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Strategy: surprise returns of characters you thought were gone, and Sarah breaks the sound effect.! Second episode of Dark Shadows revival Dave Woodard Must Die Barnabas decides that he ’ s my! The set, and it ’ s belief barrier, and takes over the place diaries and,... About werewolves, and this world falls with her make like a good stalking-to about Barnabas Julia! Like you ’ ve never had a convoluted viewing of DS and Tortured Souls the Big break in a! Their diabolical plan to catch this madman that ’ s come back availability of the 1991 Dark Shadows improvement... Over Soubar, never Ending Journey and Tortured Souls be hit by a car Dare Angelique and Reverend Trask many... In one trip should go upstairs or downstairs 493: Revenge of the room Aristede and his Dancing.! She also travels back in time for Quentin to Stop skulking in the world of Dark Shadows finally a!

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