To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us.” — David A. Bednar 2. I realize that I can choose how I respond (i.e. THEY would never use the word “folks” so they get to feel superior. To Be Offended Is A Choice. "For the folks who are asking these questions, I hope they'll choose not to be offended by my answer, and that is, they need to elevate the questions." As individuals who are free to act, therefore, we have to choose to be offended. Not only do we need you, but you need the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Elder David A. Bednar taught: “In some way and at some time, someone in this Church will do or say something that could be considered offensive. Hurt feelings are an opportunity for vulnerability and closeness. The day we run out of petrol is the day Iran will be free. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended.David A Bednar I don’t have drama because I choose not to even entertain it. When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. Also according to Bednar these “less active” members all have testimonies and with a reminder of that are ready to come back to church. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended. Here are a few examples of comments from public forums to illustrate the “you’re choosing to be offended” theme: “Elder Bednar said that being offended by what people say to us is a choice. Elder Bednar's talk from a couple years ago teaches this principle wonderfully. I think of all the lies, abuses, manipulations, deaths, and lifetimes wasted because of the church and I am offended. Updated. When we believe or say that we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated or disrespected. That they would condemn me for being offended at the church is idiotic. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. In response, Elder Bednar gave this advice. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles asked us to choose not to take offense: When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. Elder Bednar explains that clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur. You and I cannot control the intentions or behavior of other people. Abbas Kiarostami . Declare the Way to Safety (Helaman 16:4–5) President Henry B. Eyring testifies of the Lord’s concern for our safety. This applies to being offended as well. Such an event will surely happen … It’s an “It’s them, not me” way of thinking. Adversity / David A. Bednar / Offense / Trials. We choose offense. If someone is rude to you, you can choose to not get offended. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” David A. Bednar An Offensive Snowball . If someone says something offensive, hurtful or insulting to me, I am likely to feel exactly they way they meant me to feel. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. Second, I believe being an EOP makes them feel powerful. Oftentimes, a simple, rather trivial offense snowballs into greater, more lasting damage. In his general conference talk “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” Elder David A. Bednar discusses how harmful taking offense can be for us and for future generations. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended. Posted on February 13, 2013 by Quotes Admin “Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. Choose Not to Be Offended. - David A. Bednar * * * * * * Free Will Is Not as "Free" as You Think: Choosing to Be Offended at Offensiveness by Matt Moody, Ph.D.. Assumptions of Positive Attitude suggest that NOT taking Offense, when others are Offensive, is merely a matter of choice. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. David Pollay discovered this concept. “However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. defines, “walking on eggshells” as “an idiom that generally describes a situation in which people must tread The less you know, the more you believe. Watch the video "Choose Not to Be Offended" from Elder Bednar's talk "And Nothing Shall Offend Them" General Conference, Oct. 2006. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. The Law of the Garbage Truck. More than asking after specific standards, he says, baptized members should use their personal Liahona (the Holy Ghost) to make decisions. Please remember that you and I are endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended.” Elder Bednar said understanding that the Church is a learning laboratory helps us shun offense. David A. Bednar He teaches how some people are like garbage trucks. "Choosing" not be offended can be a learned skill that is very helpful on an individual level and I try to exercise that skill to prevent my feelings getting hurt by people who don't care to invest in me. Oftentimes, the people we offend or the people who offend us are unaware that insults were exchanged. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. how I behave) when offended, but I've never been able to understand how I can choose not to be hurt. In 2nd Nephi it says men are free "to act for themselves and not to be acted upon," meaning we are responsible for how we act, feel, and think, and nobody else is to blame. If someone sexually abuses children we could maybe choose not to be offended, but I think focusing on someone being offended at sexual abuse is missing the bigger picture. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended." Choose Not to Be Offended. So don’t take it as the truth because you’re the only person who truly knows who you are. Personally, I have a pretty hard time with the concept that we choose not to be offended or hurt or insulted, etc. 40 quotes from David A. 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