Similarly, a strong testimony and knowledge of who we are can help us weather storms of criticism and offense. General Conference David A. Bednar Courage Moroni Teacher Forgiveness Book of Mormon Small - (360p, 9.6MB) Why should we be “swift to hear” advice, complaints, or criticism? ), Corianton needed to listen to his father’s chastisement. Elder Marion D. Hanks of the Presidency of the Seventy has said that the way we handle these situations may have serious ramifications: “What is our response when we are offended, misunderstood, unfairly or unkindly treated, or sinned against, made an offender for a word, falsely accused, passed over, hurt by those we love, our offerings rejected? The Lord knew his disciples would face storms of criticism and severe persecution. Arguments can easily escalate from one caustic remark to another, with each person reacting to the other’s remark. Learn about my book The Burnout Cure: An Emotional Survival Guide for Overwhelmed Women, Way back when- I played Julie's music on the radio. Or do we resolve the problem if we can, forgive, and rid ourselves of the burden? Do we, like the Lord’s disciples, need to work harder at not being offended? What was my contribution to their experience of feeling offended? The church, commonly referred to as the Mormons, really wants people to stop using that word. Connect with me on all social media @DrJulieHanks I started toward the sandbox to initiate a parent’s perennial patching up, but before I had taken two steps, Brian reached out and hugged Scotty. From what I heard later from my parents, there was a video shown at the Young Women in Excellence that was a thinly-veiled dig at my sister. Thanks for the reminder. The following five keys can help keep us from becoming offended—or if we have already been offended, quicken the healing process: We are more easily offended when we feel insecure about ourselves. It is our responsibility to reflect on our own contribution to the relationship dynamic. Who is the head of the house in a home with a single mother? It can be used to minimize someone else’s pain. “Elder Bednar said that being offended by what people say to us is a choice. Prev; 1; 2; Next; Page 1 of 2 . It is almost as if we are being told we have to choose a side. We must be firm in our commitment and testimony of the gospel, in our sense of self-worth, in the knowledge of who we are, and in our sense of our divine potential. (See 2 Sam. Monday, ... As a stake president I have seen many people drift into inactivity due to being offended when clearly no offense was intended. It is a very fine example of King Benjamin’s natural man. When used as a shield to avoid self-awareness, pulling out the “you’re choosing to be offended” line robs you of insight into the part you play in the relationship. Five keys to keep from having your feelings hurt. Are the so-called New Age spiritual beliefs opposed to Christ? It’s hard to become offended if you are esteeming others better than yourself, and valuing what they have to offer. We all say silly things and hope that others will show mercy when we do. A blog about the life of a Stake President in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 2 0. Home Evening Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect. More appropriately, the idea that someone has stopped going to church or resigned their membership because “someone offended them.” If you’re not familiar with the concept of offended members, take a few seconds to read the article.… But not "The Mormon Church". This is not an official site of the Church) The only site of it's kind on the web! But that's awesome. This website goes so far as to say, "Through Him, we can learn to forgive those who may have offended us, we can seek and receive forgiveness of our sins, and find answers to even the most difficult questions of life." Bo G. Wennerlund, Han In Sang, and Julio Davila, Getting Involved in Your Child’s Education, Update: Number of Dedicated Temples in Operation, New Donations Slip Lists Fund for Book of Mormon, President Hunter Honored for Fifty Years of Legal Service, The Field Is Ripe in Jamaica’s May Pen Branch, Church Equips Kitchens to Help Peruvian Poor, University Exhibit Spotlights Pioneer Heritage, San Diegan Presiding Over U.S. When we are offended, feelings of hate, dreams of vengeance, or misguided feelings of righteous indignation poison our minds and spirits. Finally, the day arrives when you have enough money to buy it. You pull over to the side of the road and discover that you have a flat tire. Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Do you remember a time when you wore an article of clothing that was out-of-style or that didn’t fit well? The Contemporary Symbolism Behind the LDS Sacrament By Eleazar, 1998. She had told her parents about the abuse a few years after the incidences had occurred. I wouldn’t purposely offend you, but if you are offended then it’s your problem, not mine.”, Ahhh, PC in The church……..I can’t wait…….Was it Brother Brigham that said “He who is offended when no offense is intended is…” well anyway……. Why not be willing to look at ourselves and learn about some of our individual and cultural blind spots, instead of pretending that we don’t have any? When you feel you have been improperly judged, falsely accused, or offended in some way, pause to reflect upon the person’s intentions. In the end, we are the ones most hurt. I find it interesting that this website lists being "offended" as the first reason in its list of explanations for people leaving the Mormon Church. For therapy services in Utah visit WasatchFamilyTherapy.com Suddenly, sand was thrown, feelings were hurt, and Scotty started crying. Corianton is mentioned by name among those missionary sons who were teaching, baptizing, and helping to bring peace and prosperity to the land. Sometimes “choosing to be offended” is an appropriate and healthy response. He had nothing to prove. How did Pahoran react to Moroni’s harsh judgment? I don't mind being called "Mormon". The Book of Mormon record is silent about Corianton’s immediate reaction. However, I think it’s important to make the distinction between taking responsibility for our own feelings and taking it upon ourselves to point out when others are or are not taking responsibility for their experiences (i.e. (LDS stands for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. After a long letter criticizing Pahoran, Moroni concluded by threatening to come to Zarahemla to get the needed provisions himself, “even if it must be by the sword.” (Alma 60:35.). See more ideas about offended quotes, quotes, lds quotes. To sign up for Meridian’s Free Newsletter, please CLICK HERE. But rather than being offended Mormons are viewing it as an invitation to set the record straight. Despite the accusations, Pahoran was not offended; he understood and rejoiced in Moroni’s righteous intentions. How ridiculous to let them go up in flames when a flat tire momentarily disrupts our journey. People aren’t talking to each other as much because we are all worried about saying the wrong thing. Nov 11, 2019 - Explore Candice Leatherberry's board "Offended quotes", followed by 110 people on Pinterest. This was a theme in my articles on modesty — our tendency to use counsel, quotes from leaders, and commandments as a measuring stick to judge others, instead of applying them to ourselves. (Alma 60:7, 28.) One of the girls was bitten by a rattlesnake. Frequently, you’ll discover that the intent behind the criticism was constructive and was offered in an effort to help. Chances are that within our own ward and stake we will be offended by someone sooner or later. Alma’s son Corianton was guilty of committing serious sin while serving as a missionary. I recall working with a client who had been abused by a neighbor (also a ward member) when she was nine years old. Perry M. Christensen is the second counselor in the Oslo Third Ward bishopric, Oslo Norway Stake. Pahoran’s response is a lesson in restraint and understanding: “In your epistle you have censured me,” he wrote, “but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart.” (Alma 61:9; italics added.) “Thou didst forsake the ministry,” chastised Alma, “and did go over into the land of Siron among the borders of the Lamanites, after the harlot Isabel. “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19–20.). 16:5–10.) The luxury car with the flat tire is obliterated in a ball of fire. 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Perhaps in very specific situations, a close friend or confidant can kindly let us know if we’re being too sensitive, but this kind of counsel certainly won’t be well-received or internalized by an internet stranger writing a comment on a discussion board. Lv 4. “And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.” (D&C 42:88.) But I do mind being told I belong to "The Mormon Church". Moroni, the Nephite military commander, was a man of God, “a man of a perfect understanding,” and “a man who was firm in the faith of Christ.” (Alma 48:11–13.) 3. It was easy to become offended, wasn’t it? The sell-out stage show The Book of Mormon mocks their faith. Because you were insecure about yourself. 40 quotes from David A. Bednar: 'Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. (See Alma 59:3.) I found this fascinating because I am not personally offended by the questions; I am, however, very curious about underlying gender assumptions, concerned about the impact of our unexamined perceptions, and I believe that we, as a culture, could greatly benefit from more self-reflection and thoughtful dialogue. I belong to the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints. I enjoyed this though. We had a lesson in Relief Society about the Word of Wisdom. Indeed, some of the Savior’s most profound teachings are contained in the chapters of John just before those that recount His betrayal. 20.). He also accused Pahoran of disobeying God: “Ye know that ye do transgress the laws of God, and ye do know that ye do trample them under your feet.” (Alma 60:33.) It can prevent us from important information about ourselves when we use it to deflect responsibility. How would we feel if we had been unjustly criticized by a Church leader? Be Swift to Hear, Slow to Wrath. I am pointing this out because we have seen so many church talks over the years where those who leave are vilified as people wanting to go out and sin - this survey proves the exact opposite. Five Secrets the Book of Mormon Reveals about the Rise and Fall of Nations, The First Presidency and Apostles Over Age 70 Receive the COVID-19 Vaccine. Happy is the man (and the woman) who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. During his last hours prior to his crucifixion, he strengthened his disciples’ testimonies and provided them with an eternal perspective of who he was and who they were. “Yea, she did steal away the hearts of many; but this was no excuse for thee, my son. It can be used as a weapon of judgment or minimizing another person’s experience. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Let’s stick to evaluating our own righteousness instead of calling out others for their weaknesses (real or perceived). Typically, people who are easily offended are over-sensitive about too many things. LDS Apostle Bruce McConkie said, “Now I know that some may be offended at the counsel that they should not strive for a special and personal relationship with Christ…you have never heard one of the First Presidency or the Twelve,…advocate this excessive zeal that calls for gaining a so-called special and personal relationship with Christ.” Not offended. Tears stopped as quickly as they began, hurt feelings were mended, and friends were reconciled. To sum it up, it offended … And he needed to act upon it by repenting. We should be gracious enough to receive the criticism, understanding that the person may be trying to help. … For example, Shimei cursed David, threw stones at him, and mocked him. Pahoran understood the intent of Moroni’s criticism; Moroni sought only for the glory of God and for the freedom and welfare of the people. "In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to … To avoid taking offense, we need a firm foundation. Elder David A. Bednar gave a fabulous talk in October 2006 called “ … Just as modesty standards are designed to be applied to ourselves and those in our stewardship, it is also not our job to judge who should or should not feel offended by a given situation. Circuit Court, “That Ye Not Be Offended,” Ensign, Mar. They told her that what happened was wrong and instructed her not to go to the neighbor’s house anymore. Being Offended. This website is not owned by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the Mormon or LDS Church). Testimonies and personal relationships are worth more than an expensive luxury car. But in later chapters, we learn that “the sons of Alma did go forth among the people, to declare the word unto them.” (Alma 43:1.) Instead of immediately seeking medical attention, the group pursued the snake and sought revenge by killing it with rocks. I also would like to say I enjoyed the comments by Sherilynn, about comments another person had written. “The nature of our response to such situations may well determine the nature and quality of our lives, here and eternally.” (Ensign, Jan. 1974, p. Why? for do not I know that I am this day king over Israel?” (2 Sam. I've often used the "don't choose to be offended" line as a measure on others. When we let our emotions dictate a hasty response, we relinquish control of ourselves and of the situation. Perhaps because we honestly need to change something about ourselves; perhaps we truly need to heed the advice or the criticism. Being Offended. There are situations where an appropriate, even healthy response is to be intensely offended by something or someone. The misuse of the phrase “you’re choosing to be offended” can create distance rather than connection in our families, wards, and communities. Rights being trampled upon is an entirely different and legitimate issue; something which is a heck of a lot more substantial than being “offended.” As this column has discussed in the past, one’s religious rights are not violated unless an individual, as a result of his faith, has one of the following occur: A complete list of temples and their status is included after the press release. Yet how many of us have allowed a relationship we have nurtured for years to go “up in flames” because of one careless remark? The best way to do so is to quietly take the person aside and openly discuss the situation. When Absalom sought to usurp the kingdom from his father, David, he and others deliberately tried to offend and humiliate his father. Yet somehow it has become a type of received wisdom among many Latter-day Saints. There are people out there that have no clue, and are rude. The LDS Church has used the story of Frazier Eaton (who gave $700 for the Kirtland Temple but left after being unable to get a seat at the dedication ceremony) as an object lesson on how members can leave after being offended. This article brought out some excellent points not the least of which is not always is being offended a bad thing, and also don't use "You're choosing to be offended," as some sort of trump card to be offensive! The LDS church. Daily news, articles, videos and podcasts sent straight to your inbox. This reeks of bitterness.”, “How about everyone just stops taking offense to everything? (See Alma 49:30.). Allow me to discuss a recent example in my stake. 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